Getting up to speak never frightened or scared me, until the day I had to eulogize my dad. My mom told the purple balloon story, my sister talked about how they had so many special places together, it couldn't be just one where she would feel or think of him, and then it was me. His youngest daughter that felt like a part of me died when he did because we were that close. I didn't want to cry in front of everyone, but every time I practiced at home I would end up in tears and choke on my words. But here is what I said about my daddy:
"My whole life I had heard that I had a special connection with my dad. I know that every person in this room and beyond also had a special connection with my dad, but this one didn't grow with time, but happened instantly and was unconditional from the start. From the earliest of memories, dad told me how he was allowed into the nursery when I was born, which was totally different than when my sister was born - sorry about that. He would brag about this almost every single birthday of mine, especially about how special it was to hold me and about the moment I reached for his finger. He knew instantly we had something special. We always had a special relationship. Whether it was how we talked to each other or how we goofed around, we were something special.
We loved spinning on the tea cups at every Disney park we went to; we were spinning buddies through and through. And at Disney there was no way I would drive on the Tomorrowland Speedway or Autopia without Daddy in the passenger seat. Even in my late 20's, which you can see pictured in the collages, I still insisted that daddy be my passenger. And I assure you, I would still to this day want to spin in the tea cups with him or be my passenger in one of those cars. That was just daddy and me.
Not only did I get my dad's features (no paternity test required), but I also got his generous heart, which many if not all of you have expressed about my dad. He was a stand-in dad for a friend during their special LGBT graduation ceremony, he wanted children with different abilities and special needs smile, and most importantly, he was generous to his family. Staying home and taking care of two girls is a lot to take on but he was always there. He even nursed my mom when she was diagnosed with cancer after every appointment, tear, or harsh reaction to the chemo and radiation. He was one of a kind.
I hear how much he loved us all. No one needed to tell us that because we could all feel it and see it. He played a daddy bird to me at zoo camp when he flitted around like a bird to give his baby bird (me) a gummy worm and he was one of the only dad's there. He even volunteers to parade around a Disney restaurant and pay homage to the grill gods. Something that we all laughed about and enjoyed because he played up any character he could just to give us those smiles and memories.
He was a proud dad of my sister's and my academic accomplishments, including my sister studying at his Alma Mater and even getting to study abroad in England and when it came to me, my dad got my letter from the Jane Addams College of Social Work. I was going to see the family that night but I couldn't wait to hear the news so I asked my dad to read the letter. As soon as he got to the 'Congratulations' part, he was crying and telling me that I did it and he was so proud of me.
All daddy wanted to do was to be with his family and especially his girls - even if that meant calling us in 'sick' for the Cubs home opener. Dad's love was so deep that he even snuck his way into being a bridesmaid at my wedding. Seriously check the pictures, my sister is not alone up there, daddy is right there taking on the bridesmaid role perfectly. That's just how close and special we were to each other.
Daddy was a spark of pure love and generosity -not to mention a family man through and through. My wish is that through this immense loss, this spark gets passed on however it can. To your family, charity, or even strangers you don't know. While a giant part of me is missing because my dad, who was like a best friend to me is no longer here, I am hoping to try and fill that loss by carrying on his legacy of love and generosity with the help of all you. They are big shoes to fill, but we must carry his spark and pass it on whenever and wherever we can."
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